The Difference: Problems of Opportunity v. Problems of Existence

January 8, 2013 Leave a comment

Since I met “J” (who is homeless and lives under a bridge), I’ve taken to using a mental image of him to help me get over myself.

Here’s what I mean:  During this morning’s drive to work, I contemplated a number of issues facing us at home and at work.  I’m sure you have a similar list of concerns, worries, and irritations.

I suddenly realized that most (if not all) of my problems are born out of opportunity  — whereas J’s problems (and those faced by billions) are existential problems.

What’s the difference?  A problem born out of opportunity is one like, “Should my wife go back to work, or stay home with our daughter?“, whereas an existential problem is one that threatens our existence.  For example, “What will I eat or feed my children today?”

In other words, what I perceive to be problems are situations brought about by the fact that I’m blessed — not a victim.

Let’s break down the problem of opportunity (Should my wife go back to work, or stay home with our daughter?) into its component blessings:

  • Blessing: I have a beautiful wife (and she chose to marry me); she’s also healthy!
  • Blessing: My wife has a great job (not everyone has a job)
  • Blessing: My wife’s job is waiting for her (not always the case)
  • Blessing: We have a home (certainly not always the case)
  • Blessing: We have a healthy daughter (not every child is healthy — plus, not everyone is able to have kids!)

Broken apart in this way, my problem is composed of multiple blessings that bring about additional situations to consider — but unlike the problems faced by others in this world, none are life threatening.

They’re merely by-products of having opportunities.  Why is it so hard to remember this?

I challenge you to name a problem you’re facing.  Next, list the blessings your challenge is born from.  Does your perspective change?  

Filed under Fatherhood, Homelessness, Leadership Tagged with , ,

How to Build a High Traffic Blog Without Going Crazy: Secrets From Tim Ferriss

January 7, 2013 3 Comments

A few years ago at the Inc500 conference, I had an opportunity to meet Tim Ferriss, author of “The 4-Hour Work Week,” “4-Hour Body,” and “4-Hour Chef” (all three are New York Times and WSJ best-sellers). Tim has a great blog at fourhourworkweek.com/blog/, and has built a successful empire around his content.

Around the same time as the Inc500 event, Tim spoke at the WordPress Conference about how to build and optimize a high traffic blog.

Even though it was a few years ago, some of the lessons are still helpful and relevant. Here’s a summary of some of the interesting points:

Read more of this post

Filed under Communication, Sales and Marketing Tagged with , , , ,

What’s The Difference Between You and J?

January 6, 2013 24 Comments

This is where I met J.

This is where I met J.

As I hugged him, I could see he was crying.  He kept saying, “Man, I’m so tired.  I’m really just so tired…I just want to rest.”

All I could think of to say was, “I know.  It’s ok.  I know.”

But really, I’m lying. I have no idea.

And so do very few of the people passing us on either side, as they make their way to and fro within the Target parking lot.  For a brief moment, I forget about them, and what they might be thinking, as I just let this man cry.

In an hour and a half, this 44-year old man I’ll call “J” shared his story with me.  Of how little by little, he crept closer and closer to the streets, until finally he found himself living under a bridge in a nearby city. Read more of this post

Filed under Faith, Homelessness Tagged with , ,

What’s Your Casket Score?

January 5, 2013 6 Comments

Earlier today, a friend and I attended a men’s gathering at Rock Harbor.  The discussion centered on how as guys, we need to foster and invest in strong relationships with a small group of other dudes.

(The same is true for ladies, but it seems to be easier for them … guys don’t seem to be as naturally wired for community.)

The speaker said he finds that most guys don’t have a “best friend.”  The next thing he said struck me:

Imagine that a casket requires 6 people to carry it – 6 people who are the best of friends with the deceased.  If tomorrow were your funeral, how many close friends would be carrying your casket?

Really makes you stop and think.  Do you have enough close (best) friends to carry your casket?

What’s your casket score?

Filed under Work/Life Balance Tagged with , ,

Fact or Fiction: A Home Business = Freedom?

January 4, 2013 5 Comments

For many, the idea of owning a business is synonymous with freedom, flexibility, and riches. In another post, I’ll explore this notion, as I can argue both sides of that statement: I’ve seen many business owners become consumed by their business, to the point where the business owns them.  They’re miserable.

But that’s for another day.

Today, the question is whether it is possible to have a small at-home business that provides a meaningful level of financial and personal freedom. By meaningful, I mean something that generates the equivalent of a full-time income, with the possibility of scaling beyond that should there be a desire. Read more of this post

Filed under Entrepreneurship, Fatherhood, Work/Life Balance Tagged with , , , ,

Success-hack: Using an Issue Log to Improve Personal Performance

January 3, 2013 4 Comments

Are you interested in what makes certain people and organizations more successful than others? Have you ever wondered what they do differently than you?

I don’t believe there is one magical formula, but I do think there are certain tactics that successful organizations and people have that contribute to their success.

One such tactic is an “Issue Log“. Read more of this post

Filed under Communication, Culture, Entrepreneurship, Leadership, Productivity Tagged with , , ,

[Video] How to Survive a Workplace Shooting

January 2, 2013 2 Comments

Warning: The video is graphic.

With the recent events at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newton, Conn., I’ve thought a lot about how to prepare for such an event. My wife’s school has procedures designed to save lives and protect the children (and she’s had to use them a few times) — but at our office, we haven’t had any meaningful discussions about what to do. I think it is probably a good idea for every business to talk about their plans and procedures in the event that such a tragedy ensues.

Earlier today, I came across this instructional video (above) created by the Alabama Department of Homeland Security, where they cover what to do in a mass shooting situation. They recommend Read more of this post

Filed under Entrepreneurship, Fatherhood, Leadership, Operations Tagged with , ,

Living Off the Grid: Ditching Cable for Netflix and Hulu

January 1, 2013 3 Comments

You may know that when my wife and I got married, we agreed to not have a TV for the first year.

This doesn’t mean we didn’t watch stuff — we got our fix using Hulu and Netflix to watch The Office (we’re on to Parks and Recreation now), or Charlie Rose, Front Line, and TED, none of which require cable (or a TV for that matter).

The momentum of not having a TV carried us for the next year or so, and I honestly forgot about it all together. [But my wife didn’t. The issue recently came up again, as you can see from her post here — but we agreed to stay TV-less based on some of the research that seems to show that the best policy is no TV for a child under two. More on that in another post.]

But the recent discussion about getting a TV raised another point: let’s say we do get that 70-inch beast. Back in the day, I remember paying around $100 p/month for cable. I’m really not looking forward to that.  (Call me a cheap SOB)

Between what you can stream online and services like Netflix and Hulu, why spend the money?

I’m sure I’m not the only one.  Do you use a service like Netflix or Hulu, and a digital antenna to get local channels? How do you watch live sports?  What’s your secret to living off the cable grid? 

Filed under Fatherhood, Work/Life Balance Tagged with , , ,

[Personal] 7 Years Ago Tonight at the Gypsy Den …

December 31, 2012 Leave a comment

** Warning: Skip this post if you don’t like sappy stuff  **

Today is a special day in the Rosendahl household: It’s the anniversary of our first date, and the night we got engaged.  Here is a wonderful description of that day 7 years ago, courtesy of my wife and her blog.  Happy New Year! Read more of this post

Filed under Fatherhood Tagged with , , ,

Are You What You Do?

December 31, 2012 Leave a comment

If someone asks you, “What do you do?” — what comes to mind?

If you’re like me, you probably have a one-word (or short-phrased) response.  You don’t even have to think about the answer — it’s ingrained in you. Maybe you answer “student” or “teacher” or “lawyer” or <fill in the blank>.

When someone asks me this question, I’ll often respond with “software“. Wait a second — what the frick does that really mean? I do software? (How’s that going for me?)

I’ve found that one way to grow (because the question is awkward) and have a memorable conversation with someone is to ask something slightly different: Who are you?

People may look at you like you’ve misspoken, or they’ll repeat “Who am I??” and give you a very quizzical look.

I’ll often respond by smiling (note from experience: don’t smile too much or you’ll seem creepy!) and replying, “Yes, who is <their name>. What are you about?”

If someone asks me this question, my answer is much more than “software”. In reality, I’m:

  • A (new) husband, learning to navigate what it means to honor my wife, and to serve her sacrificially (freakin’ hard)
  • A new father, learning what it means to balance my work (which I love), and my family (which I love even more)
  • A man seeking after high truths about who we are, who we serve, and what our lives are meant to accomplish
  • An Entrepreneur, full of ideas, responsibilities, and experiences that are much more than just “software”
  • … a whole heck of a lot more (insecure, moody, a dreamer, music-lover … the list goes on and on)

My guess is that you’re also a lot more than the one word or phrase you thought of a few moments ago.  Right?  You’re a lot more than what you do for a paycheck.

So next time someone asks what you do, what will you say? Or better yet, next time you meet someone new, will you have the courage to ask “Who are you?” — and come back and let us know what you learned?

Filed under Communication, Fatherhood Tagged with ,

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